Posts Tagged ‘quarter life crisis’

Memo to all twenty-somethings: you’re in for it…

I had already begun to plan my survival box for my forties (estrogen therapy, old clothes from my teen years, a doll baby for when my empty nest syndrome strikes and a cold pack for those hasty hot flashes) I had not however prepared myself for what was around the corner from adolescents, the quarter life crisis.

It might be argued that this is merely an identity crisis and my bipolar tendencies are simply getting the best of me – but for the sake of sending myself on some wild tangent to strike a war within myself, I’ll let just let that idea stay put.

I consulted my good friend, UrbanDictionary.com to help me in defining my quarter life crisis, and to no surprise they of course has several entries on what exactly such a crisis was. Shall we?

My favorite was when good ole’ Urban D. had a section written on the symptoms of one’s quarter life crisis:

…symptoms include a renewed passion for the pop music of their youth, dusting off the skateboard and considering “going pro”, and the dating of underage skanks from the local high school to prove they still got it.

Okay, so not exactly what I had in mind. I am slightly concerned with the “dating of underage skanks,” part of that quote. But in order to be open minded to this “thesis” or other I do stop and think to myself….pausing briefly and then concluding that, no, I have not fiddled with any underage skanks recently. Boy, now there is a load off my mind!

As for the pop music? Well I have always been something of a Brit fan at heart, even in her bare and bald stages and I must say that along with the skanks, skateboarding was never reallly on the agenda either. Well Mr. U.D you gave me some good start points (errr..) but I think I’ll stick to my own definition for this one.

• You have constant regrets about about the things you said and did when you were fifteen years old and are still holding five year old (or older) grudges against the skank and/or bitch flipping burgers at McD’s. You have found such regrets difficult to come to terms with. You may also still be holding onto old love letters from guys who have long moved on and had kids by now. The past remains your present. (Please seek therapy or other desperate measures).

• You’re either in college, thinking about college, or don’t know why anyone would want to be in debt for the rest of their life to sit through basic fundamentals of math lectures (which you already know).

• You’re confused/worried/scared/hate the fact that you have a dead end job or getting paid minimum wage. You constantly wonder if you will ever have such a thing as a career and you wonder (if you are in college) if just maybe all that debt you’ve racked might actually pay off someday.

• You just realized that all the morals and values you thought you had were remnants of social norms and not from decisions you actually wanted/needed to make.

• You realized that you haven’t done a damn thing with your life up until this point (except be a skank and/or bitch, flipping burgers and conforming to social norms).

• You are STILL posting “F.M.L” statuses on Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter.

• You haven’t reached the point where you can imagine only sleeping with your current significant other for the rest of your life…without laughing.

• When you think about your life to this point it sends you into a nervous breakdown or some sort of psychotic episode of why’s, if’s, and more why’s.

And to top it all off the only thing you can say for yourself thus far is “Damn, I’ve really fucked shit up.”