Posts Tagged ‘borderline personality disorder’

For those of you who do not know, I have Borderline Personality Disorder and Bi-Polar. So in a nutshell- I’m pretty fucking crazy, overemotional, not interested in your lectures on why I need therapy and generally a different person from one day to the next (yes, in a Meredith Brooks sorta way.)  I do have psychotic episodes and since I am prone to justification we will just get the “I blame it on everyone else” excuse out of the way.

I am  quite sick of not being taken seriously and having the “It’s just your BPD/Bi-polar notion thrown back in my face. The last time I checked I am a completely functioning, capable human being- I just happen to get pissed of and teary-eyed a bit more than you and to a much higher extremity. (I guess you could say that I am one of those types who really could cry the fucking river).

It is the fact that most of those in my life don’t seem to actually hear me, are looking through me, or frankly don’t give a damn anymore about my existence or what I am being “over-emotional” about. If you are tired of complaining that I am not progressing on this journey of “healing” then please stop participating in the actions which you know trigger the responses you so wish to avoid. As the title says, it is your selective hearing that is causing my psychotic episodes: that I know you oh-so-love.

I would also like to stop being researched as if I am some fucking homework assignment. If you want answers, how about asking the person that lives it first hand? Regardless of if you live with a mental illness or not, each person is a unique individual. Basically: I would like it if I wasn’t compared to some article you just Googled. If you honestly believe that I am manipulating, verbally abusive and controlling cunt, then tell me. My mind may not always reason with me at times but that does not take from the fact that I am a mature young woman capable of listening to your response about the person I (you think) am. My life is hard enough as it is, dealing with this chaos I call my thoughts, why not try doing your part and cut back on treating me like I am your poster child at the science fair?

In a perfect world those suffering from a mental illness would be free of stigma, they would be looked at as individuals and not as groups or bunches. They would be talked to like human beings and not a malicious creature. Of course in a perfect world AIDS wouldn’t exist, parents would never bury their children and we’d all get into Ivy League schools. Unfortunately this world doesn’t exist and never will.

Have you hugged your mentally ill friend today?