Posts Tagged ‘bad advice’

I was thinking the other day about all the advice I had ever gotten, whether it be on boys, (OMG! Boys!! Yes. Those days) having a baby, going to school, or just whatever. So to honor that oh-so-shitty advice, I am now doing…

There’s no harm in just talking to him.

No you’re right, there usually isn’t much harm in talking unless you get horribly rejected and humiliated in front of the ENTIRE cafeteria. This shitty advice also doesn’t apply when he’s screwing the one girl in high school who’s life’s ambition is to take your ass down.

You don’t have to actually GO to class in college. They don’t even take attendance anyways, it’s not high school you know.

You know what, no it is not like high school because my ass didn’t have to cough up 7,000 dollars a year in tuition. Also, I apparently got the 7 professors who DO take attendance, who would have guessed!?

If you stop pestering me, I’ll come on to you and initiate sex. You just have to wait for it.

For the record, I am still waiting for this miraculous “come on” you speak of. As far as I can tell, the last time I took this advice it was three weeks without any hoo-ha action and I finally gave up and said fuck it- so much for you initiating it, huh.

Everyone shaves their arms. You’re supposed to.

1.) Fuck you!

2.) No, everyone does not fucking shave their arms..

You can say whatever you want to a cop as long as you don’t touch them or spit on them or anything.

For the person who gave me this wonderful advice, I’d like to thank you. Just to let you know, this is am major crock of shit. I spent two years on probation because I told a cop to go fuck himself (several times) and then got sent away after you gave me this advice:

If you’re on probation for something that doesn’t have to do with drugs or pot or anything they aren’t going to test you Kayla. One joint isn’t going to kill you.

You’re right, it didn’t kill me, However your horrible lack of advice peer-pressured me into smoking one and I got piss tested on a whim the next day. Thanks. I hope your cunt catches fire and you piss ashes for eternity.