I also imagine that having to pay out of pocket wouldn’t be so bad if I weren’t a big girl now with big girl bills. I:E, rent. I am seriously hoping at this point that if I crack down on some blogging, I’ll be getting some more paid blogging done and I’ll likely be lurking around Text Broker to see what money I can get there. I am crossing my fingers that Phoenix will let me take my next classes and pay for this one with my refund check- I can only HOPE!

So I am not dead, mostly just lazy and neglectful to blogging, school, etc.. Tonight I’ll brainstorm some time skills idea’s and cling to some bit of hope that one actually works..

So anyways, I have always really enjoyed the concept of Slumber Parties an naturally since I am always ranting and writing about sex, most of those around me have pushed for me to get into it- so I have finally decided that I am going to do just that! I am pretty damn excited! (Of course I have a funny feeling that my grandmother is going to be my biggest customer and that’s a bit disturbing, but hey)

I apologize for being dead lately and that this post will be a tad short except for some extra paid blogging below, but I wanted to check in and let my readers know what’s been going on. Also, don;t forget to enter the contest for my birthday and buy a layout from me, because well, I am awesome

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For those of you living in or around Dallas, Texas, why not check out Splurge Hair Salon. The Splurge hair salon dallas has a great team of premier designers ranging in all area’s of specialty to give you the best possible salon experience. Not only will you leave with a great new hair style, but a great surge of confidence as well.

So of course I would be interrupted over the course of my 6 hour shift by durranged Wally World customers throwing tantrums over some damn banana’s. Martins is right up the road you know? I am sure they have banana’s eh? Look, I am just trying to sell some coffee, k? No I do not know why the hell they are out and excuse my rudeness but do I look like the fucking Chiquita Banana Lady to you??? And yes, I am rude, now take some fucking coffee or get the hell out of my face!

For clarification please see below:

The picture to left, that is the Chiquita Banana Lady, to the right is me, clearly NOT the Chiquita Banana Lady.

Ooo also I want to let you guys know that all my talking about sex and vag’s has finally paid off. You can read me now at Eden Cafe, Sexy Time and Babies. I’m still no Sue Johanson, but it’s a step closer.

And I think I’ll leave on this note:

In order to raise some funds for my piggy bank, to ensure that I don’t have to be frugal and can be carelessly spending my money on beer and hookers  I am offering up some layouts for $6 dollars, WordPress or Blogger.  You can visit Four-Fourteen.org to see some of my designs. Payment with be via PayPal and only once you are satisfied with your design.

Not only am I giving you an awesome deal on a layout (come on, you want one!) I am also giving prizes away to a few lucky winners! Here is how to enter and how many “raffle tickets” each are worth (tickets increase your odds btw):

1. Purchase a layout from me – 10 tickets
2. Follow me on Twitter- 1 ticket
3. Add me on FaceBook- 1 ticket
4. Fan my FaceBook Page- 2 tickets
5. Follow me- 1 ticket
6. Tweet this post- 3 tickets
7. Mention this contest in on your blog- 5 tickets
8. Comment on this post- 1 ticket
9. Every comment you post from now until April 10th- 1 ticket
10. For each dollar you donate to my PayPal- 2 tickets

Please comment below with what you did/are doing so that I can keep track I’ll also be keeping track of comments myself.

Sooo…I am sure you’d like to know what you get?

All winners and those who purchase a layout will have an add/link for their site posted here.

2 Winners will receive a $25 dollar EdenFantasys gift card.

1 Winner will receive a bag of Starbucks Pike Place Roast coffee (free shipping)

1 Winner will receive a $10 gift card from Amazon

And that’s about the gist of it, but feel free to ask questions below if need be.

There’s no harm in just talking to him.

No you’re right, there usually isn’t much harm in talking unless you get horribly rejected and humiliated in front of the ENTIRE cafeteria. This shitty advice also doesn’t apply when he’s screwing the one girl in high school who’s life’s ambition is to take your ass down.

You don’t have to actually GO to class in college. They don’t even take attendance anyways, it’s not high school you know.

You know what, no it is not like high school because my ass didn’t have to cough up 7,000 dollars a year in tuition. Also, I apparently got the 7 professors who DO take attendance, who would have guessed!?

If you stop pestering me, I’ll come on to you and initiate sex. You just have to wait for it.

For the record, I am still waiting for this miraculous “come on” you speak of. As far as I can tell, the last time I took this advice it was three weeks without any hoo-ha action and I finally gave up and said fuck it- so much for you initiating it, huh.

Everyone shaves their arms. You’re supposed to.

1.) Fuck you!

2.) No, everyone does not fucking shave their arms..

You can say whatever you want to a cop as long as you don’t touch them or spit on them or anything.

For the person who gave me this wonderful advice, I’d like to thank you. Just to let you know, this is am major crock of shit. I spent two years on probation because I told a cop to go fuck himself (several times) and then got sent away after you gave me this advice:

If you’re on probation for something that doesn’t have to do with drugs or pot or anything they aren’t going to test you Kayla. One joint isn’t going to kill you.

You’re right, it didn’t kill me, However your horrible lack of advice peer-pressured me into smoking one and I got piss tested on a whim the next day. Thanks. I hope your cunt catches fire and you piss ashes for eternity.

Today I had my interview with Payless. I was really hoping to get one for the Este’ Lauder girl at the Bon Ton, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers. I was actually kind of pumped for Payless after I got to thinking about it. I’m not too keen on some of their shoes but they do carry American Eagle, so there’s hope for them yet. Kristy, the manager, was highly impressed with my long line of customer service.  I supposed I could get used to selling shoes..

Short post tonight, I’ve got finals this week >.< Wish me luck!

This is also the story I decided to tell the people getting samples of the coffee I had to hand out today for work. (I am product demonstrator. In other words, I do the SAMPLES!!) I am quite positive I am not supposed to do that, but it was really the only thing I could say about coffee. After the tooth-to-powder event, I have just associated coffee with a really negative connotation. I mean seriously, teeth can withstand a lot. Think about it. When a house burns down and everything else is gone, the only way to identify a person is usually by their teeth, the same goes for a body which has been decayed for some time- the teeth are still holding up.

Needless to say, I didn’t sell much coffee.

And no, normally I would not be caught dead drinking coffee, except for today where I was drinking the cups that I had gone cold – 0.O – I think I consumed nearly ten cups all together. So then I was freaking out thinking I was going to be shaking and jittery and crazy-off-the-wall, but thankfully I am feeling okay. I kept running and brushing my teeth, still couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth! Next time this demo comes up in my queue, I am calling in sick.

I would also like to send a shout-out to the parents that for some reason think it’s okay to let their two year old drink coffee- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!? Honestly, why in the world does a small child need this shit? I am pretty sure most of the two-three year olds I know are well above having enough energy. Give that kid a damn juice box!

If I dye my hair black, brush my bangs over my eyes and post a Myspace picture in black and white of me screaming in a mirror, does that make me scene?

I am impressed by the abundance of pre-adolescent girls (and boys too) who are becoming so involved with the scene lifestyle. When I went to school there was such a wider variety than that. Nowadays it seems that you are either worshiping the ground Miley Cyrus walks on, or you’re standing quiet in a corner planning a hundred ways to kill her. My daughter is barely a year old and my only hope is that by the time she gets to that point in her life the scene queen drama has long been forgotten.

[/end scence/emo rant ]

When I was seventeen or so I remember thinking how cool it was to walk around school with a gazillion hickies on my body. I’ll admit, I was loud about everything in my life, including my sex life. (Unfortunately a vast majority of my boyfriends did not appreciate my openness. That’s why they are now my EX’s- you pansy bastards). And perhaps it was my transition into mommy-hood that rendered me to find disgust in them, I’m not really sure. Normally when I see two teenagers walking around covered ear to ear I just let it go, because frankly I haven’t reached the point where I am going to be that naive about it and because, well that was me once, yah know. However, the display that I witnessed yesterday will forever hold a mortifying connotation of hickies in my memory bank…

Two teenagers, standing in line at McDonalds are getting it. Like really getting it ultimate P.D.A style. Okay, I am just going to ignore it or whatnot, because remember- I was at that point in my life once too.

However, as the boyfriend decides to rub her bum he lifts her skirt, only to expose an infestation of ASS HICKIES! What!? In all my hickie giving/receiving days I have NEVER gotten a damn hickie on my ass- and maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad had she  been wearing some panties.

How is this acceptable? Why would you even allow your boyfriend to lift your skirt up while you are standing in a public place anyways, especially when you are A.) Clearly not wearing panties B.) Covered in hickies C.) BOTH!

I am far from being a prude, but I also feel there is a certain level of self respect to have, and bygod if you don’t have respect for yourself: have it for the twenty plus people and the small children in the room where you just exposed your bare bruised ass cheeks.

I am  quite sick of not being taken seriously and having the “It’s just your BPD/Bi-polar notion thrown back in my face. The last time I checked I am a completely functioning, capable human being- I just happen to get pissed of and teary-eyed a bit more than you and to a much higher extremity. (I guess you could say that I am one of those types who really could cry the fucking river).

It is the fact that most of those in my life don’t seem to actually hear me, are looking through me, or frankly don’t give a damn anymore about my existence or what I am being “over-emotional” about. If you are tired of complaining that I am not progressing on this journey of “healing” then please stop participating in the actions which you know trigger the responses you so wish to avoid. As the title says, it is your selective hearing that is causing my psychotic episodes: that I know you oh-so-love.

I would also like to stop being researched as if I am some fucking homework assignment. If you want answers, how about asking the person that lives it first hand? Regardless of if you live with a mental illness or not, each person is a unique individual. Basically: I would like it if I wasn’t compared to some article you just Googled. If you honestly believe that I am manipulating, verbally abusive and controlling cunt, then tell me. My mind may not always reason with me at times but that does not take from the fact that I am a mature young woman capable of listening to your response about the person I (you think) am. My life is hard enough as it is, dealing with this chaos I call my thoughts, why not try doing your part and cut back on treating me like I am your poster child at the science fair?

In a perfect world those suffering from a mental illness would be free of stigma, they would be looked at as individuals and not as groups or bunches. They would be talked to like human beings and not a malicious creature. Of course in a perfect world AIDS wouldn’t exist, parents would never bury their children and we’d all get into Ivy League schools. Unfortunately this world doesn’t exist and never will.

Have you hugged your mentally ill friend today?

I’ve cracked on the idea of one partner falling asleep, but when they both do it- almost in sync, that’s when it becomes worryful.  It’s sad, being so exhausted to the point where you are woohoo-ing and then BANG! you are out like a light. Doing this twice makes me wonder if either of our flames are even still flickering, let alone burning.

To be honest, I never truly thought about a point occurring in my life where I’d really be too tired to get into some serious sexing. Of course that was long before I actually did anything in my life other than fucking. Perhaps I should learn to better plan ahead. For those of you who are still sexing it up on a regular basis all wide-eyed and busy tailed, good for you. For the rest of you who are finding yourself in the same non-rocking boat or one that only slightly rocks, you are not alone. I can’t promise it’ll get better but at least you know there are other poor bastards out there not enjoying their lack of sex either.

On a non sexual note: WHAT THE HELL IS AN IGLOO RESERVATION?!!? Of course this question comes from a conversation of which was overheard at my local Wal-mart. I consulted my good friend Urban D. but it just said “Sorry, no entry for Igloo Reservation yet.” Poo.  I am open to any and all interpretations you may have of this, so perhaps I can compile an answer together and the next poor bastard searching for “Igloo Reservation” will know what in the hell it is.

Maybe it’s like uh…like small village of like those snow houses and uh…like the like snow people..uh like live there..

As quoted by [delete] a short blonde, wearing a prissy outfit, chewing gum, texting on her phone, smiling uncontrollably [/delete] one of those retarded fucking “like” valley girl types.

If anyone knows how to decode valley girl talk please let me know, I have not the time nor the want for a headache from reading that shit anymore than I have to- it’s bad enough I had to hear it first hand.

Lexie On the Fight

The Bad Girls Club | MySpace Video

Seriously! Like O.M.G, that’s what I am talking about. Lexie poo, please either crawl in a dark hole or educate yourself by expanding your vocabulary and ruling out “like” as much as possible. K, thanks!