Archive for the ‘People That Crazy Fuckers Mistake Me For’ Category

So as some of you may or may not know, I am a Product Demonstrator. In other words, I do the fucking samples. Yah samples! So anywho, we have a contract with Wal-Mart and I have a little bright idea’s sign on my cart and all- BUT I DO NOT WORK FOR WAL-MART! And apparently the other day some fucking banana epidemic broke out where everyone decided they were all into banana’s and shit and Wal-Mart ran out. I thought people went coo-coo over Coco Puffs,but you know shit’s going badly when old women in their mobile scooters are fighting over a few single banana’s left on the shelf.

So of course I would be interrupted over the course of my 6 hour shift by durranged Wally World customers throwing tantrums over some damn banana’s. Martins is right up the road you know? I am sure they have banana’s eh? Look, I am just trying to sell some coffee, k? No I do not know why the hell they are out and excuse my rudeness but do I look like the fucking Chiquita Banana Lady to you??? And yes, I am rude, now take some fucking coffee or get the hell out of my face!

For clarification please see below:

The picture to left, that is the Chiquita Banana Lady, to the right is me, clearly NOT the Chiquita Banana Lady.

Ooo also I want to let you guys know that all my talking about sex and vag’s has finally paid off. You can read me now at Eden Cafe, Sexy Time and Babies. I’m still no Sue Johanson, but it’s a step closer.

And I think I’ll leave on this note: